The Fool's Ball
by Scheppers-0809-4C
Summary: Go on this slightly insane bumpy ride with Harry, Draco, Ginny, Fleur, Ron, Hermione, Cedric, Cho and nearly everyone else who is worth mentioning from the HP series, as they prepare for the Fool's Ball, but inevitably get side-tracked.
1. The day before the Fool's Ball

Part 1: The day before the Yule ball

The day before the Yule ball, Neville was walking through the hallways on the seventh floor. When he passed the statue of the dancing trolls, the door of the room of requirement suddenly appeared. He heard something inside and curious as he is by nature, he decided to take a look inside.

"Hey Ginny, it's your turn now! What do you choose, truth or dare?" Harry asked.

Truth or dare? I don't know, they don't have to know my secrets, she thought.

"I choose dare!"

"Ok, me and Draco will decide what you have to do," Harry smirked.

Neville slowly closed the door and stepped into the light. The floor was covered by grass and there were pillows all over the floor. Against the walls was a whole row of closets. On the shelves he noticed a lot of board games.

Neville saw Draco drinking pumpkin juice, while Harry and Ginny were eating Chocolate Frogs and Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. Harry spit out his bonbon - because it tasted like ear wax - into Neville's face.

"Ooh, Neville, I didn't see you come in! Sorry, did I hurt you?"

Neville turned purple, picked up the bonbon and angrily threw it back at Harry.

"Ok, I deserved that. Would you like to join us?"

"Sure," Neville said.

"We have to choose a dare-action for Ginny, do you know something?"

"She has to drink a polyjuice potion with essences of us three, let's see what happens," Neville chuckled.

So they took some potion out of the closet and added their hairs. Ginny took the glass and drank it. She started to shake and turned into a fat boy with blonde hair and glasses. She also had a lightning bolt scar on her forehead. Everyone started laughing.

"And Ginny, you know this is not gone until the hour is over!"

"You can laugh, but now I can choose. Draco and Harry, truth or dare?" Ginny asked sweetly.

"Hmm... we take dare."

"Ok. It's time for revenge... I want you to wash and dye Snape's hair, because it's always greasy. You also have to write a letter to tell him he must wash his hair every day."

"Which colour do we want it?"

"Take pink, that matches his black outfit." Ginny said with an evil smile.

"Are you MAD?! Do you want us to get detention for the rest of the year?" the boys yelled in unison.

The only thing Ginny said was: "Good luck guys!"

So, Draco and Harry went to Snape's office, paralyzed him, washed and dyed his hair. Finally, they wrote the letter and left in silence. When they arrived back in the room of requirement, Ginny and Neville were blowing up condoms. Once Draco and Harry came in, they stopped immediately.

"Now it is our turn! Neville, truth or dare?"

Neville stumbled over his own words for a while. Finally he chose: "Truth!"

"OK, here is your question: what do you want to be in your next life?" Harry asked.

"I want to be a cheerleader!" Neville said shamelessly.

"GOD, I want to puke!" Draco saidn turning a bit green.

They continued the game until Ginny said she wanted to dress up for the ball. She went to her room and took a bath, while daydreaming about her outfit. _I'm going to look gorgeous in my green dress that reaches to my knees, with my high-heeled shoes. _Ginny took The Quibbler that Luna had given her and found an article about how to use make-up. So she began with foundation, lipstick, blush, eyeshadow, until she was satisfied with the result.

After Ginny had left the room of requirement, the three boys also went to their dorms. When Harry arrived in the bedroom, Ron was sitting on his bed. Harry immediately saw something was wrong, because of the way Ron was looking at him. There seemed to be a hint of jealousy in his eyes.

"What's wrong, Ron?"

"Nothing, I'm just thinking about my outfit for this evening."

Harry didn't pay attention to him after that, dismissing the look he had seen and walked into the bathroom. He first took a bath and left the room to take his black smoking. When he arrived back in the bathroom, he noticed his hair straightener wasn't there anymore.

"OH NO! Now I have to use the flat-iron to do my hair."

In the meantime, Ron was running with Harry's hair straightener to Draco.

"Here it is, Draco. Are you happy now?"

"Yes, hahaha, I have done it!" Draco shouted.

"What do you mean: 'YOU have done it'? I've done it!" Ron said angrily.

"WHATEVER! What shall I do with it?"

After brainstorming for a long time, Draco decided to put some glue between the hair straightener. Elsewhere in the castle, Neville was fighting with his outfit. The Scottish skirt and the matching black jacket weren't the right size, so he used the spell: "Engorgio!" When the deed was done, Neville wanted to add a little accessory. He went outside to look for a flower, but he didn't find one. Finally, he saw a waterlily in the lake. When he reached for the flower, he fell into the lake. After a lot of splashing around in the water, he managed to crawl out.

_Merlin, I have myself to blame for this, but what should I do now? _He took his wand and used a spell to dry himself. Clumsily, he dried it too long, which made him look like a tomato. Flaming red, Neville was walking back to the castle, when he saw Fleur come out of her carriage. He still tried to hide himself, but it was already too late. Fleur came towards him and started to laugh.

"You look like a _lobstère_!" she said through a fit of laughter.

Neville flushed beet-red, even more so than he already was, and ran away. When he found a safe hidden place, he waited until Fleur was gone. Then he took his wand and used the summoning spell to bring Fleur's dress to him. He wanted to take revenge because she had made fun of him. So, he cut holes in her dress in the places where her breasts were supposed to be. Afterwards he flew the dress back into the carriage.

Draco was walking through the hallways, the hair straightener flying in front of him, in the direction of The Fat Lady. He wanted to give it back to Harry. Because he was so focused he didn't see Dumbledore and the thing landed in Dumbledore's beard.

"Oh look, there is a hair straightener in my beard! I don't remember having one. How did it get in my beard?" Dumbledore wondered.

"Good evening professor! Ready for the ball?"

_I'll pretend I don't know about it and just walk on. _

Suddenly the Weasley twins walked by: "Looking good professor! Perhaps you should add some more things." they said in unison.

"Maybe I will boys, maybe I will..."

Meanwhile Ginny - who was done with her make -up - went to the closet, took her dress and gently put it on. She went to her bed and took her trunk from under it. She opened it and started looking for the shoes her mother had given her for her birthday. They were high-heeled and shining silver. When she looked in the mirror, she realized something was missing. She dove in her trunk again and looked for the silver tiara of her aunt Marga. She went back to the mirror and decided she looked good.

When she arrived at the top of the stairs in the Great Hall, she noticed everyone was already there. Harry in his black smoking with burnt hair -_I wonder how he did that?!-, _Draco in his white smoking with matching sunglasses _-Why is he wearing those, it's winter!-_, Neville with a flaming red face, a Scottish skirt and a black jacket with a way too big flower _-Strange combination, I'm sure it is the influence of his grandmother_!- and Fleur with her... _-Huh!?-_. Ginny was so amazed by Fleurs' appearance, that she missed a step. She stumbled and fell down straight into Fleur's arms.

"What the hell have you done with your dress?" Ginny asked surprised.

"What do you mean, _thair_ is nothing _'rong_ with my dress. In France they call it _Haute Couture_!"


	2. The dinner

Part 2: The dinner

When all the students were seated in the Great Hall, the champions were allowed to enter. The doors opened and they came in. First came Fleur with her partner; followed by Cedric and Cho. After them Viktor and Hermione came in, and last but not least, Harry with Parvati. Fleur's mouth fell open at seeing the decoration of The Great Hall.

In the middle, there was a huge dance floor with a stage made of wood. The stage was surrounded by Christmas trees, which were white because they were covered with snow. The rest of the Hall was divided into little open spaces. In every one of them there was a wooden table made for 12 persons. On each table stood a few candles.

Next to the dance floor there was a very big fountain with drinks. Each tube provided for another drink. There were 50 different kinds of drinks. From the magic ceiling in the Hall snow whirled down. Fleur was so impressed with the decorations, that she did not see Ginny, but after a while they saw each other. Fleur gave her a wink, and Ginny began to blush. After the applause everyone got to their seats. Harry, Parvati, Cho and Cedric were all seated at one table. Suddenly Neville, Ginny, Ron, Fleur, Hermione and Viktor joined them.

"Is there any room left at this table?" Hermione asked.

"But of course there are many places left, please sit down!" Parvati said kindly.

Cho was seated between Harry and Cedric and Parvati sat down next to Harry. Fleur hurried to be the first to sit next to Cedric. Ginny reluctantly sat next to Fleur with Neville on her right side. Hermione was seated in front of Ginny and Viktor had a huge crush on Hermione so he surely wanted to sit next to her.

"So Fleur, what has happened with your dress?" Hermione said in a mocking tone.

"Nothing at all!!" Fleur screamed out. "In France they call it Haute Couture!"

To calm Fleur down, Harry started talking about something else. "This summer I went to the Quidditch World Cup!"

"Hey, I was there too" Ron said a bit irritated.

"Me too!" Viktor screamed.

"Ooh, Ron, you are here too? I didn't see you coming," Cho said.

"Yes honey, I saw you, you caught the snitch!" Hermione proudly said.

"Yes, but you lost!" Ron said with a deep voice and an evil smile on his face.

While Ron and Viktor were exchanging dirty looks, Draco, Crabb and Goyle arrived. Suddenly, everyone went still.

"Parvati, move your ass." Draco said. The girl began to cry and ran away.

"Was that really necessary?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah! Now there is place for me and my buddies!" Draco said.

"That's having a real character," Neville brought out loud.

"Ooh, do you want to be a Deatheather?" Suddenly Neville was quiet.

Draco took place besides Ron. "Hi, weasel..." Draco said dirtily.

Ron just ignored him. "Crabb, Goyle, sit down!" Draco ordered.

When everyone was seated, Dumbledore asked for silence. "Good evening everybody, is everything well behind the spell? I can see plenty of confused faces. Well, I can't explain why there is a hair straightener in my beard, but don't worry about it! Have a great meal!"

Everybody applauded and began to eat. Harry and Draco started a feet fight under the table. Draco kicked Harry and Harry kicked back. The Slytherin had a painful look on his face and Harry laughed out loud (LOL). Then Harry fell off his chair and Draco rolled on the floor laughing (ROFL).

Nobody at the table was very good at keeping their mind together.

Fleur: O mon dieu... She looks so beautifuol. I'm glad I am wearing my Haute Couture dress. Je détèste le English food. I want French food!

Ginny: I love her dress, it's so Haute Couture. Yes, I can speak French!! In your face Ron. I hope that I don't spill any soup on my dress.

Cho: I should have said yes to Harry because now I'm stuck with a narcist. He doesn't look at me but always in a mirror! I feel miserable, I want chocolate cake, where's the dessert? Hey Snape!!

Hermione: I think I have to go the common room and knit some more scarfs. Those poor house elves had to prepare everything! I need more money for the S.P.E.W, to give them a Merry Christmas. FREE THE HOUSE ELVES!!

Viktor: Chermi-one looks so beautiful!

Cedric: Bon, I'm going to take my mirror to check my hair and face. Oh no, my hair is a mess! TOILETS, HERE I COME!

Ron: Food, glorious food! Ooh, chicken leg...

Crabb: I miss my mommy...

Neville: Deatheater? I don't know, maybe. Do I have to pay member money?

Goyle: Is my thong in the right place...? Because it seems to be slowly disappearing in my ass. I hope Crabb likes pink...

Meanwhile at the teachers table, they were all eating and Snape, who was sitting next to Dumbledore, didn't like the food, so he secretly put it in the beard of Dumbledore. Then he heard someone shout his name.

"SNAAAAAAAAAAPE! I WANT CHOCOLATE CAKE!"

He looked around till he saw the person who shouted his name. It was Cho.

"I'M COMING! 2 MINUTES PLEASE, I'M LOOKING FOR IT IN DUMBLEDORE'S BEARD!"

He put his hands in the beard and started looking for the cake. He pulled out a toothbrush, glasses, an owl and a knitting magazine. Then, finally Snape found the cake. He put it on a plate and let it float to Cho with a Wingardium Leviosa-spell. When it successfully landed on the table he quietly whispered: "Excellent!" He looked up and said: "Hey, WEASLEY, you eat like a pig! Use your fork and knife or you get detention, please!" Ron immediately did what Snape said. Again, Snape said: "Excellent!"


	3. Karaoke

Part 3 : Karaoke

After dinner, Dumbledore asked for silence: "Is everybody ready for the karaoke! And let's welcome prof/DJ Snape!"

Suddenly the whole room had the silence of a graveyard, only one student dare to break it. "Go Snape, Go Snape! We love you!" Draco sung.

He was even waving his Snape-flag in the shape of Snape's nose, which screamed "Excellent!"

Suddenly a first year screamed: "You suck!" with a high pitched voice. All the other students did a wave, exept for the Slytherins, they were huddled in a corner. Snape went up to the stage, ignoring the reaction of the students. He placed his wand against his throat and said "Sonorus".

"Thank you for being here and for looking so beautiful tonight, especially you, Draco, with your little flag. That is very creative of you!" he smiled. "Our first singers are the triwizards champions, with 'We Are The Champions' by Queen."

He stepped off the stage and the champions came forward, then the lights went out and spotlights were pointed at the stage. Suddenly Cedric started to shine, as if his skin was made of a thousands little diamonds. Everybody was stunned by this extraordinary sight.

Cho yelled: "Hey, that's MINE! You stole my glitterpowder!"

"SHUT UP!" someone said.

The music began and they started singing:

"I've paid my dues  
Time after time  
I've done my sentence  
But committed no crime  
And bad mistakes  
I've made a few  
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face  
But I've come through

We are the champions - my friends  
And we'll keep on fighting till the end  
We are the champions  
We are the champions  
No time for losers  
'cause we are the champions - of the world

..."

At the end, everybody applauded. Snape said that they must take a bow before they left the stage, so they took a bow and another one and another one...

"GET OFF" Snape shouted at the fifth bow of the champions.

Dumbledore came to the front and happily said: "Now it's my turn!" He took 'Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life' by Monty Python, as song. He started to sing:

"Some things in life are bad  
They can really make you mad  
Other things just make you swear and curse  
When you're chewing on life's gristle  
Don't grumble, give a whistle  
And this'll help things turn out for the best

And...always look on the bright side of life  
Always look on the light side of life

..."

Dumbledore stopped singing and came off the stage and discretely passed the microphone to Draco. The music already came out of the boxes, but the students couldn't see anyone.

When the voice of the singer was being heard, they saw Draco coming up the stage singing 'I'm Too Sexy' by Right Said Fred. Pansy Parkinson followed him on the stage with a loving smile on her face.

"I'm too sexy for my love  
Too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave

(He pushes Pansy off the stage.)

I'm too sexy for my shirt  
Too sexy for my shirt  
So sexy it hurts

(He took off his shirt and threw it in the crowd.)

I'm too sexy for Milan  
Too sexy for Milan  
New York and Japan

I'm too sexy for your party  
Too sexy for your party  
No way I'm disco dancing

(He did a moonwalk.)

I'm a model, you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk  
On the catwalk yeah  
I do my little turn on the catwalk

..."

Draco came down the stage and was looking for his shirt. When he found it, he went back to his seat. At the same time, Ron pushed Harry onto the stage and wispered in his ear that he had to sing 'You're so vain' as a response to Draco's song.

"You walked into the party  
Like you were walking onto a yacht  
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye  
Your scarf it was apricot  
You had one eye in the mirror  
As you watched yourself gavotte  
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner  
They'd be your partner, and

You're so vain  
You probably think this song is about you  
You're so vain  
I'll bet you think this song is about you  
Don't you? Don't you?

..."

"And now it's Fleurs turn with 'I 'm a barbie girl' from Aqua," Snape announced.

Fleur went up the stage and started singing.

"I'ma Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

Come on, Barbie, let's go party

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world  
Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie  
You're my doll, rock and roll, feel the glamour and pain  
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky

You can touch, you can play  
You can say I'm always yours, oooh whoa

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

..."

Every boy that was in the great hall was staring at Fleur, who was singing with the most beautiful voice they had ever heard. Ginny went to the musicians and asked if she could sing a song too. She wanted to know if they knew "Obviously" by McFly. They know the song. And Ginny went up the stage,the music started playing .

Before she began to sing, she looked at Fleur and mouthed "it's for you,only."

"Recently I've been,  
Hopelessly reaching  
Out for this girl,  
Who's out of this world.  
Believe me.

She's got a boyfriend  
He drives me round the bend  
Cos he's 23  
He's in the marines  
He'd kill me

But so many nights now  
I find myself thinking about her now.

'Cause obviously,  
She's out of my league  
But how can I win  
She keeps draggin' me in and  
I know I never will be good enough for her.

No, no  
Never will be good enough for her.

..."

After the song fleur jumped on the stage,wispered something in Ginny's ear. Ginny nodded yes. Suddenly they both started to sing 'Vermilion part 2' by Slipknot.

"She seemed dressed in all of me  
Stretched across my shame  
All the torment and the pain  
Leaked through and covered me  
I'd do anything to have her to myself  
Just to have her for myself  
Now I don't know what to do  
I don't know what to do  
When she makes me sad

She is everything to me  
The unrequited dream  
A song that no one sings  
The unattainable  
She's a myth that I have to believe in  
All I need to make it real  
is one more reason

I don't know what to do  
I don't know what to do  
When she makes me sad

..."

While Fleur and Ginny finished their song, someone started shouting: "Neville, Neville, Neville, Nevile..."

In the back of the room, poor Neville Longbottom was being challenged by Draco Malfoy and his gang. Before he even realised it, Neville was lifted by Crabb and Goyle. With a terrified scream he was brought to the front, where he was thrown on the stage. "Good luck," Draco said with an evil grin.

Neville started singing:

"Shhhh, Shhhh  
It's, oh, so quiet  
It's, oh, so still  
You're all alone  
And so peaceful until...  
Ignition  
They call it an obsession but I think it's kinda bitchin'  
I think it's kinda neat  
Yeah, I'm a pyro  
I wanna burn it up  
Yeah, I'm a pyro

The whole room was surpirsed by never thought that Neville had it in him.

Tonight this 'hood will be a pyre  
I'm gonna set your house on fire  
I'll dance around the pretty flames  
Such a wonderful game!

..."

At the end everybody applauded.

Neville who was still standing on the stage,wanted to throw Fleur a dirty look, because he was still angry with her. But he saw Ginny (his date) and Fleur dissapearing into the forest.

He went to Draco and smiled. Ah, sweet revenge. Draco looked stunned while everybody started laughing. While his friend was distracted, Harry took a tiny glass bottle out of his pocket and poured it in Draco's drink.

He looked up: no one noticed. Draco drank from his glas,suddenly he was turned into Fleur. He looked around and saw Harry laughing. When Harry noticed Draco looking at him, he too ran into the forest. Draco wanted to go after him, but he couldn't because boys kept asking him for a dance.

Meantime Harry was in the forest where he saw Fleur and Ginny making out. At the other side of the room Neville had an evil plan: he was going to turn Fleur into a frog. Neville was looking for Fleur when he saw her dancing ('Fleur'Draco).

He snuck up to where he was and said the spell. The last thing 'Fleur'Draco knew was that he was turned into a frog.


	4. Special Guest

Part 4: Special guest

When Draco was turned into a frog, he started hopping around the entire room, especially between the legs of the girls. Suddenly, one of them noticed the frog and kicked him.

Five minutes later there was a loud BANG and the doors opened. It became cold and the people saw a shadow on the floor. They weren't able to identify the owner. But when they looked up they saw Lord Voldemort in a Supermancostume. Instead of an "S", it said "SV" (Suppah Voldieh). Every Muggleborn started laughing, while all the wizards and witches looked at Voldemort as if he had escaped from a madhouse. Voldemort started singing "I believe I can fly". At the same time the children saw Bellatrix Lestrange behind Voldemort on a broomstick. They were attached to eachother with a chain and Voldie pulled her onwards.

Everybody watched him crash into a tree and fall down in slowmotion, screaming like a little girl. Bellatrix was dragged along and crashed into the ground. Someone shouted "Take some flying lessons and come back later!" but because Cedric, Ron and Viktor were standing next to eachother nobody knew who said it.

Voldemort sat on a chair in the middle of the room with Bella on his lap (AN: pervert!!). Harry returned from the forest in shock. He went to the drinking fountain and started drinking red wine.

Back to the stage, Bellatrix was controlled by Voldemort, but nobody knew that. She gave Neville a dirty look, while Voldemort asked for the microphone. He said: "I am the world's greatest ventriloquist and this is my puppet, Bella." The whole room fell silent.

"Say hi, Bella. Don't be shy."

Bellatrix said: "Hi. I like cookies with chocolate."

The whole room started laughing by this random comment.

In an evil voice Bella said: "SILENCE! I kill you!"

Everyone went quiet again, but Neville squealed in a high-pitched voice: "Mommy!" Snape responded with a resounding "yes".

When Voldemort heard this, he started laughing like a maniac. Everyone looked very afraid, especially when he started gasping for air. It took a long while for them to understand that he was slowly suffocating in his own laughter. He fell to the floor. Lord Voldemort was dead.

Because he died, Bellatrix was no longer a puppet and Snape stopped being a mother figure. They both had been under the Imperius-curse. When Bellatrix realised where she was, she went after Neville. Again he shouted "Mommy!", but no one answered this time. Bella chased him until they were outside. There she killed him with the Avada Kedavraspell. She dragged him to Hagrid's pumpkinfield, where she buried him. (AN: Poor Neville. Boohoo.)

Meanwhile, back in the castle, Draco was so depressed he decided to get drunk with Harry. He jumped into the fountain.

The next day:

Everyone got together for breakfast. They were all talking about last night, but nobody spoke to Draco or Harry. They were very irritable because they had a serious (NA: SIRIUUS =D) hangover, and had to take medication. All the boys looked at Fleur and Ginny with a jealous look in their eyes. One of the girls was sitting in the other's lap. They were all talking, generally having a good time. After a while they noticed someone was missing. They all looked up at the same time and asked: "Where is Neville?"

Epilogue

"They did it again!" a male voice said to a nurse.

"What should we do, dr. Cullen?"

"Just bring everyone back to his cell. And clean this mess up."

"Another nurse found Josh, burried in the garden with only his head sticking out of the ground. I think Rosemary did it."

The nurse staff split up and brought all the patients back to their cells. One nurse came up to the doctor and told him that Franciscus was dead. "He died of a heart attack," he said.

"He died of laughter." a woman said.

"Shut up, Blake."

"No! Call me Severus Snape!"

The nurse left and said under her breath: "Oh God..."

A few days later, the mental patients had a meeting and discussed what they were going to renact next time.

"Maybe Twilight?"

"I want to play the Nightmare Before Christmas!"

"We did that last week."

"Maybe Pirates of the Carribean?"

"Or the Phantom of the Opera?"

"I think we should play Lord of the Rings."

"That's a good idea."

"I want to be Gollum!"

…


End file.
